1. |
House Parties Pt I
03:17
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I’d spent five years hating my life and 10 months smoking weed
had myself convinced that this drug was all I’d need
got myself so high to try to balance out the lows
the aim was to be numb from my head to my toes
little did i know this drug would fuck me up
i’d spend my mum’s money and become a lazy cunt
after 10 months i dropped all that shit
I’m fucking glad, because i’m better off without it
when I’m wobbly I’m stable and when I’m stable I’m not
depression is stupid and my mental health's fucked
when i go to sleep i dont want to wake up
I am so sick of this everything’s fucked
I’m at a point in my life where I don’t smoke and I don’t drink
cos I lose self control way too easily
it’s more than self control it’s anxiety
turns out my room is a place that i can’t leave
i drink lots and scratch up my knuckles in the street
fuck alcohol and fuck these house parties
they make me fucking nervous i want sobriety
i wanna go home these parties ain’t for me
when I’m wobbly I’m stable and when I’m stable I’m not
depression is stupid and my mental health's fucked
when i go to sleep i dont want to wake up
I am so sick of this everything’s fucked
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2. |
Disappearing Act
02:16
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If i'm a magician, then you're my disappearing act
I can make you go away
But I cannot bring you back
There are no tricks up my sleeve
That'll make you fucking see
That it's not you, it's just the fact that I can't be fucking happy
Every cloud, has it's melancholy lining
If I told you I was happy, then I know that i'd be lying
I can't stomach the pain, to tell you the truth
It's not like lying to you, isn't something that i'm used to
I'm giving up, on everything
I hate that i'm like this, I hate that I exist
I'm giving up, on everything
I hate that i'm alive, I hate that I want to die
I'm giving up
And you will be, the last thing I think about
as I fall to my knees, you're my disappearing act
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3. |
House Parties Pt II
01:57
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all my friends are getting drunk but I just wanna go home
from the party, so I can be
by myself nobody else
i wanna feel lonely
'cause hating myself is something i've learnt to love
I’ve drunk lots
and now i am
punching ivy bushes in the street
and scratching up my hands
getting offered sex from strangers
i just wanna be home all alone
ah
dont push me out of my comfort zone
this party sucks
and i just wanna go home
from the party, so i can be
by myself nobody else
i wanna feel lonely
'cause hating myself is something
i've learnt to love
from the party, so i can be
by myself nobody else
i wanna feel lonely
'cause hating myself is something
i have learnt to love
chug chug chug wooo
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4. |
Accidents
02:29
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I am an accident, waiting to happen
I’m depressed at best, and I’ll always be this way
I dream in monochrome, and my days are bleak
too sad to stay awake but too sad to sleep
i always blamed myself
how could i blame anyone else
for the things that i felt
can’t help but blame myself
for the times that I lash out
it’s because of my mental health
it ruins everything
i always blamed myself
how could i blame anyone else
for the things that i felt
i always blamed myself
how could i blame anyone else
for the things that i felt
can’t help but blame myself
for the times that I lash out
it’s because of my mental health
it ruins everything
i always blamed myself
how could i blame anyone else
for the things that i felt
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djndisjskdmsdndjxnxkmdxk UK
we do not exist anymore.
2016-2018
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